Canadian Glossary

A knitted winter hat. If you call it a 'beanie', you're from somewhere warmer. Canadians wear toques indoors in October and nobody thinks that's weird.

“Grab your toque, it's -30 out there.”

Tim Hortons coffee with two creams and two sugars. Ordering this correctly on your first Canadian visit is a rite of passage. Tim Hortons is a religion and the drive-through is the cathedral.

“Large double-double and a pack of Timbits, please.”

Bite-sized donut holes from Tim Hortons. Available in a 'pack' (10) or a 'box' (20, 40, or the apocalyptic 'Timbit party pack'). A cornerstone of any Canadian office meeting.

“Someone brought Timbits to the morning standup — best Monday ever.”

Canada's national cocktail: Clamato juice (clam + tomato — yes, really), vodka, hot sauce, Worcestershire, celery salt, and a celery stalk. Invented in Calgary in 1969. Absolutely delicious. Unavailable in most of the world, for reasons that remain unclear.

“Sunday morning calls for a Caesar. Or five.”

French fries, cheese curds (not shredded cheese — curds, and they have to squeak), and hot gravy. Originated in Québec in the late 1950s. Attempting to make poutine with mozzarella is a federal offense in approximately four provinces.

“We stopped at La Banquise at 2am for poutine. No regrets.”

Someone who is excessively enthusiastic, especially in a try-hard way. The kid in class who does the extra credit. A keener isn't quite annoying — just a bit much. Used affectionately as often as critically.

“He showed up twenty minutes early to a volunteer shift. Total keener.”

An expression of approval. Can be used as a noun ('He's a beauty'), an adjective ('That's a beauty play'), or just standalone affirmation ('Beauty.'). Often paired with 'eh' for maximum Canadianness.

“He shovelled the neighbour's driveway without being asked. What a beauty, eh.”

The Swiss Army knife of Canadian communication. Used to confirm agreement, invite response, express mild surprise, or soften a statement. Not as constant as outsiders believe, but very real. Americans attempting to imitate it are easy to spot.

“Cold out there, eh? / That was a good game, eh? / You're coming too, eh?”

To go all out. To commit fully to something. Often used in the context of work, partying, or driving a snowmobile into a snowbank at full speed. A term of pure Canadian encouragement.

“Last period, we were down by two. Coach said give'r. We gave'r.”

A mild, mostly affectionate insult for someone who is unsophisticated, dim, or doing something dumb. Popularized by Bob & Doug McKenzie in the 1980s. Never truly offensive. Calling someone a hoser is basically calling them your friend.

“You drove to the wrong rink again, ya hoser.”

The border between Canada and the United States, which runs along the 49th parallel of north latitude. Canadians reference it constantly when talking about anything American drifting north. 'North of the 49th' is shorthand for 'in Canada, specifically'.

“Ryan Gosling took his talents south of the 49th and never looked back.”

A 2009 amendment to Canada's Citizenship Act that extended citizenship to certain people who lost it under previous laws, and to their first-generation children born abroad. Relevant to celebrities born outside Canada to Canadian parents who may not have known they qualified.

“She qualified under Bill C-3 through her grandmother — didn't even know she was Canadian.”

The Canadian one-dollar coin, named for the common loon (a bird) depicted on it. Also used colloquially for the Canadian dollar itself. 'The loonie fell against the dollar' means the Canadian dollar dropped versus USD. Sounds funnier than it is when the economy is rough.

“Paid for his Tim Hortons in loonies and toonies like a true Canadian.”

The Canadian two-dollar coin. A portmanteau of 'two' and 'loonie'. Has a polar bear on it. Slightly larger than a loonie and has a bimetallic design. Foreigners almost always find this charming. Canadians have long since stopped noticing.

“She tipped the coat check a toonie. Generous by rink standards.”

An old-fashioned word for a couch or sofa, mostly heard from grandparents and in real estate listings written by grandparents. Younger Canadians say 'couch' like everyone else, but the word refuses to die completely.

“Don't spill that on the chesterfield, your grandmother will kill you.”

A case of 24 beers. The unofficial unit of measurement for a long weekend. May Two-Four Weekend is a Canadian holiday named entirely around the concept.

“We're heading to the cottage, grab a two-four on the way.”

A 375 mL bottle of hard liquor, small enough to fit in a jacket pocket. Popular at hockey games, weddings, and anywhere else that technically prohibits it.

“He snuck a mickey of rye into the rink in his boot.”

Complete, chaotic disorder. Named after an old TV show, though most people using the phrase have never seen it. The go-to descriptor for a bad meeting, a messy party, or a Toronto commute during a snowstorm.

“The potluck turned into a total gong show once the raccoons found the dessert table.”

Someone who is slow, clumsy, or standing around uselessly — usually on a hockey rink, but transferable to real life. Named after the orange traffic cones defensemen are meant to skate around, not resemble.

“That defenseman was a pylon all night, eh.”

Sneakers. Athletic shoes. Not up for debate — if you call them 'tennis shoes' in most of Canada, people will simply be confused.

“Forgot my runners for gym class, had to run laps in socks.”

A parking garage. A perfectly logical word that somehow never caught on anywhere else in the English-speaking world.

“Meet me on level 3 of the parkade, I'm circling for a spot.”

A kilometre. Standard unit for describing distance, especially anything involving driving, running, or complaining about a commute.

“The cottage is only 40 klicks up the highway.”

Newfoundland, affectionately. Also occasionally the nickname for anyone extremely proud of being from there, which is most people from there.

“She's from The Rock — you'll know within five minutes of meeting her.”

A Canadian, typically retired, who flees to Florida or Arizona for the winter months and returns each spring like clockwork, tanned and smug.

“My parents are snowbirds now — Florida from November to April, like the geese.”

Toronto, specifically its six former municipalities merged into one city. Popularized globally by Drake, to the mild embarrassment and pride of Torontonians in roughly equal humility and pride.

“He's repping The Six on tour again.”